Life used to be so smooth together, now we only stumble and collide. Within the couple there are reproaches, irritations and frustrations, …the occasional crisis or the recurrent conflict can often monopolise our energy unreasonably.
During a session, a couple will frequently speak of a communication problem, but this is not the underlying reality, this is just a reflection of various functions and dysfunctions ; the problems reveal subterranean dynamics that often collide with each other, rather like tectonic plates which can cause explosions and unfortunate lava flows.
The couple is a laboratory : we throw in the ingredients that make each of us who we are, mix them together and see what we get !
« If we love each other, then shouldn’t the relationship just work by itself ? » …The word “love” does not immediately imply well-functioning… “love” is a marvellous concept which leaves room for a wide range of interpretations, projections and fantasies of all natures. But even if there are areas of divergence, something links the partners together, cementing the relationship. Indeed, our choice of partner is not by chance. The couple could be seen as a compendium of unconscious coalitions, conspiring together. The aim of the therapeutic process is to bring light and understanding to the necessary areas in order to allow the couple to progress, making decisions they are happy about. Here too, it’s a question of oiling the rusty areas and adjusting the dynamics.
Pascale Clerbaux 